Concerta Trial a Bust

Well, we tried Concerta for the past 3 days and it turned out to be a bust! David was moody and then the aggression came out in school today. He ended up dumping his desk and terrorizing the classroom. So we are going back to having David only on Risperidal and having no attention span. I am done trying different medications.

David + Adderall = Nightmare

Last night was the worst visitation session ever. As we discussed the previous day with the psychiatrist we added back 10mg of the Adderall XR to see if it would help him focus better.

The afternoon visit was ok, but David was very aggitated and didn't want to play. He tried playing ping pong but got really upset and quit and started pacing around the rec room. We knew something wasn't right but we thought that he might just be having a bad day ( I mean seriously autism or not we are all entitled to having a bad day).

Well, bad went to worse at the evening visit. He asked us to bring his transformers tennis shoes because he didn't want to wear his crocs. He had those hospital grip socks on and they would fit in his transformers shoes correctly and he started getting upset. So I got him to put his crocs back on. He started yelling that the socks were killing his feet and that he had to go up to the unit to get his regular socks. We told him that he had to wait and the meltdown began. He started screaming and ended up running into the group room where we were able to contain him away from the other kids and their visitors. Dave took charge and restrained him. David started kicking, punching and biting. At that point I started crying. We tried to reason with him several time (which really doesn't work when he is in this kind of rage, but we tried anyhow). He said that he would calm down and he seemed to so Dave let him go and the rage increased to the point where he started throwing his crocs so Dave restrained him again. This went on several times. His little eyes were getting all bloodshot from the pressure of his screaming and started having trouble breathing. We got him to a point were we were able to get him up to the unit and away from all of the other visitors. If Dave wasn't there they probably would have injected David with a sedative. He was calmer once we got to his room and sat there for a bit. The nurse brought his risperdal and he took it, thankfully.

We were able to get David into the shower and he was doing a lot better and getting sleepy. We had to leave at snack time but I doubt David got snacks because he was on the verge of falling asleep.

It was a very rough ride home. I cried all the way and took 1mg of Klonopin. Dave had a hard time holding it together as well. By the time we got home my body felt like jello. The evening was crap and I ended up having a stress-induced, non-epileptic seizure (guess I should have explained that one under "How I Cope"). So I had one several weeks ago too but since then it has been over a year since I had non-epileptic seizure. However, there is only so much antidepressants can to and my body just went into overload.

Obviously David will not be released today as planned and I am not sure how long they are going to keep him at this point. We are going in to talk to the psychiatrist today. We were going to do a phone conference but Dave's plan is to go and sit there until she is available to sit and talk with us. We will see how that goes.

The Hospital

It has been a very emotional week....

September 1st David had a very violent meltdown at Kohls where he was punching and biting me. His doctor said that if this behavior happened while we were out that I was suppose to take him immediately to Maryview Behavior Center. His meltdowns have been getting progressively worse and more violent so we drove immediately to Maryview. They admitted him last night and are keeping him for 5-7 days.

I know I made the right decision because I would do anything for David to help him feel normal. It was just so upsetting that I have to leave him there with strangers when he is already having abandonment issues with Dad deploying and then coming back, but has crazy work hours because he made chief. And then with his sister deciding to just move out and she hasn't seen or talked to him since July 8th. Dave's work let him stay home with me the following day because I was such an emotional wreck.

One good thing is that they have visiting hours every night from 6-7 and twice a day on the weekends. So we are taking every opportunity to visit with him. They are letting us stay until 7:30 because we are helping him get his shower and then we get to snuggle with him a bit afterwards.

They took David off all of his meds (adderall xr, abilify and regular adderall) to try giving him just risperdal. David had several meltdowns during the week and they had to inject him with a sedative. He finally took his riperdal Friday night at dinner. So I really hope this works.

I really look forward to visiting him today to see how the medicine is working. I called this morning to see how he was doing and they said that he was doing great and has been really calm. I hope this continues for the day.

A Bad Roller Coaster Ride

I know I haven't posted in a while....primarily because it has been really crazy around here. David's meltdowns have become more violent. He was so mad in the car the one day that he grabbed my ponytail and pulled it through the headrest. One can not drive while looking at the ceiling of the car....Luckily my Dad was with us and was able to get David's hand out of my hair and he held on to David's wrist so he wouldn't grab my hair again. So my poor Dad got the crap punched out of his arm and ended up with a bunch of bruises.

Naturally for safety reasons I had 13" of my hair cut and donated it to Locks of Love. I was very sad to see my hair go, but I would rather have it cut off then end up in a car accident.

His meltdowns have been more of a daily event now and I hope he will come around soon before school starts.

A Horrible Day

So yesterday started out as any other day....meds, breakfast, get dressed...you get the idea. Then David started throwing things around our reading area and I told him that he needed to stop or I would have to take the toys away from him. He started yelling at me saying "no" and then said "I am going to beat you to death". At that point I just walked away and ignored his comment to not bring further attention to his behavior.

Then after dinner he decided that he wanted 7 powdered donuts. I told him "no, you can only have 2 for now," this lead to him punching me near my left kidney so I picked up the phone and pretended to call the police and at that point he started crying and apologizing. So I "told the officer" that he has calmed down and that I think we will be okay.

After that David didn't want to let go of me and kept holding around my waist. I told him that I needed a timeout and that he needed time to calm down but he wouldn't let go. I reminded him about how his therapist talked about needing time to calm down. So he grabbed his bowl with 2 donuts, while sobbing, and I headed outside for a much needed cigarette.

As I was gathering myself and my thoughts the front door slowly opens and in a very small voice David says "Mommy, I broke your window because I couldn't get all of the anger out." Well, so much for calming down because now I am really worried that he hurt himself. Luckily there wasn't a scratch on him because he broke the window by smashing his giant nerf gun into it. However it did make a big mess for cleanup which I had to do ASAP at this point because of the pets. During that time David sat calmly at the computer playing a webkinz game but I knew in my mind that this has gone too far.

I finished cleaning and then calmly told David that we needed to go for a ride. He kept asking where we were going but I just kept saying "for a ride" because I couldn't tell him that we were headed to the hospital's behavioral center.

We arrived there around 8pm, with tears rolling down my face the whole ride there. When David realized where we were he started crying but did not put up a fight. We met with the crisis team and they determined that since he was calmed down and we had an appointment with his therapist the following day that he was okay to go home and we got home around 11pm.

After a not-so-good night sleep we met with his therapist and she advised that we meet with his medication manager. While David was still in with the therapist I was able to work out an afternoon appointment with his meds manager. The meeting went well and we increased his morning and evening meds. All we can do now is wait.

On a good note, my Dad is coming back down this weekend to help me out with David and to be here for me emotionally. I am so thankful that his is able to make it down here.

Praying tomorrow will be a better day...

Vacation

Well, vacation to Pittsbutgh went well. We had a few incidents where David decided to punch his cousin in the nose and cause a pretty bad nose bleed. Then at the amusement park he was having a meltdown and didn't want his cousin sitting in the wagon so he grabbed his shirt and started beating him in the head. It is amazing the looks you get while restraining your child on the ground while he is still able to bite your arm. But life goes on and the other parts of the trip were great so we will focus on the positive!

a good ending...

Well, it was a good end of the school year! No long meltdowns and even some really relaxing evenings. We did a special dinner to Joe's Crab Shack on Saturday evening and David had a great time....as well as listening well when it was time to eat, ate well and did not even fuss when I said that it was time to go! I was quite impressed! I bought him a webkinzwalrus today and he absolutely loves it! He really likes to interact with all the online features as well.

Tomorrow is cub scout day camp and he is really excited! I am volunteering all week so I will be pretty beat by next weekend. I am praying for minimal meltdowns this week....keep your fingers crossed!

a bad evening

it has been a very bad evening so far.he started yelling at me while he was doing his homework and kept hitting himself in the head so i reminded him of our new rules about time-out, 3 minutes for yelling or throwing and 5 minutes for punching, hitting, kicking or biting. he stopped hitting himself but kept yelling at me so i told him that he had to go in time-out for yelling at me and that just blew up into him hitting and punching and tried to bite me. it got so bad that i had to go and shut myself in the laundry room. i thought he calmed down so i came out and he was trying to get the remote off the top of the entertainment center. i took it and took the batteries out and told him that there was no tv until he did his 3 minutes of time-out. he went upstairs and started slamming his door and knocked part of the door frame out then came downstairs and started hitting me again. i decided to call and try to talk to his psychiatrist but they wouldn't put me through to her. they said that i need to take him to the hospital's behavioral ward and that if i couldn't drive him myself that i would need to call the police to take him and meet them there. i told david that i was calling the police and he got really scared and started crying and saying he was sorry. he sat with me in time-out for 3 minutes and we talked about what would happen if he had to go to the hospital and how he would have to sleep in a room all alone there and he got really sad and said "but who would feed me?" I told him that some special doctors would take care of him and that he wouldn't get to see mommy a lot. I just can't stand the thought of having the police take my baby away but if it comes down to it i will have to do it to keep him and myself safe. I hate seeing my little boy this way and i wish there was some way to get through to him.